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Unconditional Friendliness

Published by Susan Gillis Chapman on

Every relationship has its limit, an edge called ‘disappointment’. Things are going well and then suddenly there is a shift. We discover that our new friend has a shadow side: a nasty temper, a secret addiction, a habit of putting you down. In Green Light Conversations we describe the feeling of disappointment as the ‘yellow light’. With mindfulness practice we can avoid closing our hearts when we encounter this shadow side of our relationships. At the same time, we don’t need to close our eyes, which is a pattern called ‘mindless heart’. Instead we can make the courageous intention to simply accept our friend as she is. It is so easy to say, but a life-long challenge to put into action. One tool for doing this is to work together in ‘green zones’. These are structured dialogues to support the intention to be open. Having a green zone helps us extend the practice of unconditional friendliness towards ourselves and to others so that we can genuinely create a culture of friendship and kindness in our lives.


Susan Gillis Chapman

teaches part time for Green Zone Institute and for Karuna Training. Susan is a retired Marital and Family therapist who has been practicing mindfulness meditation for over 35 years.  She is the author of the book The Five Keys To Mindful Communication and a contributor to The Mindful Revolution, edited by Barry Boyce. Her website is: http://www.susangillischapman.com. Read more about Susan here.