Hold Your Tongue and Offer Your Heart Instead

Hold Your Tongue and Offer Your Heart Instead

When someone is in the “Yellow Light” state of anxiety and fear, there are ways to help — none of which involve offering complex advice. Instead, we can understand what is really needed. Warmth. Listening. Echoing back that we hear what someone is telling us. And that we recognize their inherent human goodness. Helping can be very simple. We don’t have to change the world. We have to lean in and co-feel with someone.

 This powerful article by Heather Plett explains the experience of what works, and what doesn’t:

“After Mom died, I got messages from other well-meaning people who thought they knew how I should deal with my grief. One person even reprimanded me for sharing my grief as openly as I did on my blog. She thought that I, as a public person, had an obligation to my readers to write with more positivity. She was also afraid that I would ‘attract’ more bad things in my life if I prolonged the grief and didn’t think more positive thoughts.”

“I had the same reaction every time unsolicited advice showed up – I bristled. When I’m feeling emotionally grounded, I can brush off those things that don’t feel helpful, but when I’m vulnerable, as I was then, I tend to bristle.

“When my mom was dying of cancer, I occasionally got messages from well-meaning people who wanted to offer what they thought was valuable information about how mom could cure her cancer. Eat raw food, take more vitamin C, stop drinking milk – all of those suggestions and more showed up in my inbox….”

Read the rest of the article here.

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Senior Mindful Communication Instructor Gregory Heffron MFA owns and manages Green Zone Institute. He was the first certified teacher of Mindful Communication authorized by Susan Gillis Chapman. He has been teaching Mindful Communication workshops since 2009, and has been a mindfulness meditation teacher since 2005. In 2005, he apprenticed with senior Mudra Space Awareness teacher Craig Smith, and became authorized to teach this unique mind-body meditation technique — included in nearly every workshop. In 2007, Greg co-taught with Smith to fourth year students in the Dance Division at the Julliard School in New York. Greg teaches Mindful Communication and Mudra Space Awareness primarily in North America and Europe. In 2003 Greg graduated with an MFA in Nonfiction Creative Writing from the University of Iowa. He coaches individuals, teaches workshops, and consults with businesses and organizations like Shambhala Mountain Center, Dechen Choling Buddhist Retreat Center and others.